Saturday, January 31, 2009
♥ Serietà, Incertezza e Felicita.
Questo anno sta risultando essere differente anche. And it's only Gennario! I can't say I'm not happy about it, though. I'm realizing things now that I've never even thought about before. I'm more comfortable with my surroundings. I can say I can honestly express myself more now than last year. I don't know what changed, and when exactly it happened. But I'm glad it did happen.
I never did realize I had friends in college. Stupido, sì? I go with them because I didn't want to go anywhere alone. And even though I am with them all the time, I didn't know much about them and they didn't know anything about me. It was as if I was there, but out of the loop. And though it bothered me, I never did anything about it. I never thought I have to.
But things are different now. I share my thoughts more now, and I hear theirs. Although, it's not as if I share everything. There are still some things I can't say. But this is a definite improvement. And I like it. I can say I have my college friends now: friends I go out with, have fun with, joke with, gossip with, complain with, share advices with, confide with... E sono felice. People who I can't approach before seems so friendly now. I still have some issues with myself and other people and topics, and not everyday is a blast, but this has been undoubtedly my happiest time this college.
Aaaand... he seriously has feelings for me, well, it's what he said. And I don't know what to believe. It's may be a little cruel of me, not to trust what he said. And it's not as if he said he loves me (I didn't ask, I was afraid of the answer). And... I seriously don't know what to do. He told me he can't read me, and he's asking for any kind of response. But I don't know what to give him. I'm beggining to hate myself for not knowing, because I think that I do know, I just don't want to acknowledge it. I want us to be friends. That, I'm sure of. Maybe, it's all I want. And I'm confusing all these feelings because of who surrounds me. But that aside, I still don't know what to tell him. He's expecting it soon.
I'm sooooo dead.
I never did realize I had friends in college. Stupido, sì? I go with them because I didn't want to go anywhere alone. And even though I am with them all the time, I didn't know much about them and they didn't know anything about me. It was as if I was there, but out of the loop. And though it bothered me, I never did anything about it. I never thought I have to.
But things are different now. I share my thoughts more now, and I hear theirs. Although, it's not as if I share everything. There are still some things I can't say. But this is a definite improvement. And I like it. I can say I have my college friends now: friends I go out with, have fun with, joke with, gossip with, complain with, share advices with, confide with... E sono felice. People who I can't approach before seems so friendly now. I still have some issues with myself and other people and topics, and not everyday is a blast, but this has been undoubtedly my happiest time this college.
Aaaand... he seriously has feelings for me, well, it's what he said. And I don't know what to believe. It's may be a little cruel of me, not to trust what he said. And it's not as if he said he loves me (I didn't ask, I was afraid of the answer). And... I seriously don't know what to do. He told me he can't read me, and he's asking for any kind of response. But I don't know what to give him. I'm beggining to hate myself for not knowing, because I think that I do know, I just don't want to acknowledge it. I want us to be friends. That, I'm sure of. Maybe, it's all I want. And I'm confusing all these feelings because of who surrounds me. But that aside, I still don't know what to tell him. He's expecting it soon.
I'm sooooo dead.
11:57:00 AM
